http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/ The Spain Forums, Costa Blanca British Expatriates community, Blogs, free classifieds, property, photo gallery,chat rooms, and news. en Fri, 03 Sep 2010 10:02:26 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.thespainforum.com/images/totallypro/misc/rss.jpg http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/ http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/mike-kemp/story-barclays-bank-359/ Sun, 06 Jun 2010 17:14:14 GMT In 2004 My wife, twin girls and I decided we would like to live in Spain. We came and looked at some Villas and decided that we would lay a deposit... In 2004 My wife, twin girls and I decided we would like to live in Spain. We came and looked at some Villas and decided that we would lay a deposit on one. Shortly after we returned to the UK a TV program highlighted land grab and illegal houses in Spain. I wrote to the estate agent and asked for written confirmation that the property we had ordered was completely legal - we never got a reply but we did get an Email asking for E60000 as second payment. We never replied and lost our deposit. Later we found out that this finca was in the El Hondo!!!!
We still wanted to come to Catral and an estate agent informed us that the were legal fincas in Catral and after solicitors etc had informed us that the finca that we had ordered WAS legal we came to Spain. Before we came I met a Financial Consultant in the UK who had worked for Barclays Bank and he advised us to ask Barclays for a mortgage as he said "that Barclays would not give a mortgage on an illegal property" we aproached Barclays and were given a mortgage.
About 3 months after we had come to Spain a man came to the house asking if we wanted to join an organisation which were fighting for houses to be made legal. I said that I would give a donation as my house was legal to which he replied that it was not.
This started the saga with Barclays!!!!

I went to the bank and initially was told that my property was legal - this changed over the ensuing months as meetings with the Mayor had given me more info. I returned to Barclays and argued with the Manager that not only had he authorised a mortgage on an illegal property but had involved me in a tax fraud as the wrong cost of the property had been entered on the Escritura (which I had got from the Bank)
I then took photos of adverts in the bank saying that they were registered with the F.S.A. so I met a friend of mine who happened to be the Home Secretary in the Uk and his staff researched my case and said that I had a case and should take it up with the F.S.A. This I did and after well over a year was told that Spain was not covered by the F.S.A.
I then wrote to the Chief Executive Director of Barclays in the UK as Barclays Madrid was giving me the run around and they would not give or show me the initial survey report. Months later AFTER HE HAD ORDERED MADRID TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ME THREE TIMES I was told by Madrid that they WOULD NOT investigate my accusations. These were;
1. that Barclays had knowingly issued a mortgage on an illegal property.
2. that Barclays acted in a corrupt way involving me in a Tax Fraud.
3. that Barclays advertised illegally that they were registered with the F.S.A in Spain.
This dialogue with the Chief Executive Director finished in April when he REFUSED to investigate my case. I then accused him of being corrupt as he had condoned the above complaints.
I then attended the A.G.M of Barclays in London on 30th April and handed over 800 leaflets to attendees.
My position now is that I am with holding mortgage payments and when Barclays reposses my worthless finca I will serve a writ on Mr Varley the Chief Executive Director claiming compensation for loss of my house and our ill health which has been ongoing over the past five years.
I have written to ALL of the board members as well as the Corporate Governance Committee and sent copies to news papers and TV companies informing them of my actions.
I WILL NOT GIVE UP AND I BELIEVE THAT I WILL WIN even if I have to represent my self in the High Court in the UK ]]> mike kemp http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/mike-kemp/story-barclays-bank-359/ http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/runningbull/running-bulls-352/ Thu, 25 Mar 2010 05:16:56 GMT I am so ready for summer to start and I can make my way back to Pamplona and rediscover myself at San Fermin. Also I can not wait to Running of the... I am so ready for summer to start and I can make my way back to Pamplona and rediscover myself at San Fermin. Also I can not wait to Running of the Bulls so I can test my mad running skills against a large bull. This will be my third trip to Pamplona and I have enjoyed every year I travel. The people, culture, food, and the festival is outstanding. I discovered Pamplona Housing a couple years ago and they are great at finding apartments, hotels, balconies, and bull fighting tickets. They really have a grasp of the Pamplona and treated me great. Hope to see my friends soon!! ]]> RunningBull http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/runningbull/running-bulls-352/ http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/tommy-atkins-soldiers-poem-326/ Wed, 19 Aug 2009 10:57:36 GMT They flew me 'ome from Baghdad with a bullet in me chest. Cos they've closed the...]]> Tommy (with apologies to Kipling)
Written by Patrick Campbell>

They flew me 'ome from Baghdad with a bullet in me chest.
Cos they've closed the army 'ospitals, I'm in the NHS.
The nurse, she ain't no Britisher an' so she ain't impressed.
It's like I'm some street corner thug who's come off second best.
Yes, it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "You're not welcome 'ere".
But when Saddam was collar'd, they was quick enough to cheer.

They're proud when Tommy Atkins 'olds the thin red line out there,
But now he's wounded back at 'ome, he has to wait for care.
Some stranger in the next bed sez, "Don't you feel no shame?
You kill my Muslim brothers!" So it's me not 'im to blame!
An' then the cleaner ups an' sez "Who are you fightin' for?
It ain't for Queen and country 'cos it's Bush's bloody war!"
It's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, what's that smell?"
But it's "God go with you, Tommy," when they fly us out to 'ell.

O then we're just like 'eroes from the army's glorious past.
Yes, it's "God go with you, Tommy," when the trip might be your last.
They pays us skivvy wages, never mind we're sitting ducks,
When clerks what's pushing pens at 'ome don't know their flippin' luck.
"Ah, yes" sez they "but think of all the travel to be 'ad."
Pull the other one. Does Cooks do 'olidays in Baghdad?
It's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, know your place,"
But it's "Tommy, take the front seat," when there's terrorists to chase.

An' the town is full of maniacs who'd like you dead toot sweet.
Yes, it's "Thank you, Mr Atkins," when they find you in the street.
There's s'pposed to be a covynant to treat us fair an' square
But I 'ad to buy me army boots, an' me combats is threadbare.
An' 'alf the bloody 'elicopters can't get into the air,
An' me pistol jammed when snipers fired. That's why I'm laid up 'ere.
Yes, it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, "We 'ave to watch the pence";
Bold as brass the P.M. sez, "We spare them no expense.

"But I'll tell you when they do us proud an' pull out all the stops,
It's when Tommy lands at Lyneham in a bloomin' wooden box! ]]> Lee http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/tommy-atkins-soldiers-poem-326/ http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/surgeons-321/ Mon, 20 Jul 2009 20:13:56 GMT Five surgeons are discussing who were the best patients to operate on. The
first surgeon says, 'I like to see Accountants on my operating table
because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.'

The second responds, 'Yeah, but you should try Electricians! Everything
inside them is colour-coded.'

The third surgeon says, 'No, I really think Librarians are the best;
everything inside them is in alphabetical order.'

The fourth surgeon chimes, 'You know I like Construction Workers. Those
guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and
when the job takes longer than you said it would.'

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, 'You're all wrong.
Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no
balls, no brains, and no spine, and there are only two moving parts - the
mouth and the arsehole and they are interchangeable'

:Banane35: ]]> Lee http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/surgeons-321/ http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/aint-life-strange-319/ Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:34:52 GMT When i was younger i couldnt stand being in the house, now in my 40's i cant be arsed leaving the bloody place except for shooting and the gym....

As a child i wanted to stand out from the crowd with my clothes and hair .....NOW, i just want to sink into the background , do my business and get home...

When i was growing up i wanted facial hair to prove i was a MAN to my peers, Now i spend time getting rid of them growing from the most unusual places in my ears!

As a teen, i wanted to be heard, to be viewed as a leader, NOW, i run / avoid responsiblity wherever possible.....

As a boy i used to look at my watch and think "time seems to be standing still" NOW, i watch 8am turn to 8pm in what seems like a few hours.....

As a teen my clothes were immaculate, fresh on and pin-sharp.....NOW as man i think " sod it, no one will see me anyway" and " you can tell thats an oil stain , cant you ?"

As a Boy it was LAW to know who was No1 in the charts , their album and all of the bands first names, NOW, its embarrasing to be asked....

As a boy i used to get ticked off by my mum for not cutting my sweets (mars bars etc...)in half because it would ruin my dinner / appetite....TODAY, manufacturers MUST have consulted my mum as they are half the BLOODY SIZE

As a teen i used to frustated / bored listening to my parents and being around them, As a MAN i miss them both more everyday and would glady hear a full blown story of "how satsuma's have gone up in price since last week at tesco's"

As a teen i used to see all the busty women walk by and think "boy do they look like FUN, and Used to get third degree burn on my leg with money burning holes in my pockets for the latest gadgets... AS a MAN............................................NOTHING HAS CHANGED :D:D ]]> Lee http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/aint-life-strange-319/ http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/miss-joyce-315/ Fri, 19 Jun 2009 11:43:54 GMT Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

"Miss Joyce''; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'

I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.

'Miss Joyce", that is very unusual. How old are you?'

'Ninety-eight.' she replied.

'Oh, Miss. Joyce, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:

'I outlived the bitches.'

:pound: ]]> Lee http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/miss-joyce-315/ http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/future-internet-dating-314/ Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:21:36 GMT This might amuse some :D Image: http://www.thespainforum.com/members/lee/albums/odds-sods/140-future-internet-dating-part-1.jpg Image:... This might amuse some :D





:Banane35: ]]> Lee http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/future-internet-dating-314/ http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/people-313/ Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:11:17 GMT OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count

As part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring

Back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office

And gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well doc,

it's like this-- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing.

Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand,

Then with her left, still nothing.

She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out,
Still nothing.

We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first

With both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it

Between her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbour?'

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get the bloody jar open.'

:whoo: ]]> Lee http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/people-313/ http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/mostmissedteas/costa-blanca-towns-312/ Mon, 15 Jun 2009 18:33:07 GMT If anyone lives in the major towns of the Costa Blanca and could distrubute some cards and flyers in local business and areas where Brits are I would... If anyone lives in the major towns of the Costa Blanca and could distrubute some cards and flyers in local business and areas where Brits are I would make it worth your while with a supply of your fave tea!

Here's hoping you like tea! ]]> mostmissedteas http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/mostmissedteas/costa-blanca-towns-312/ http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/mostmissedteas/business-311/ Mon, 15 Jun 2009 10:30:26 GMT Firstly a big thank you to Lee and his article about online advertising - very helpful to someone trying to do just that - me! I am in the UK... Firstly a big thank you to Lee and his article about online advertising - very helpful to someone trying to do just that - me!

I am in the UK running an online shop selling bulk amounts of tea to Brits across Europe, but focusing on Spain. I need help with getting the word out about it and wondered if any of you lovely people knew of any businesses close to where you live that would display flyers or business cards?

If anyone can help please let me know.
Thank you. ]]> mostmissedteas http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/mostmissedteas/business-311/ http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/promoting-business-online-simple-trick-310/ Sun, 14 Jun 2009 18:18:46 GMT With the recession in full flow and many businesses struggling to find clients and customers, the internet if used in your favour can work for you... With the recession in full flow and many businesses struggling to find clients and customers, the internet if used in your favour can work for you with good results.

When people talk of promoting a business online, they automatically assume it means having their own web site and all the expenses, head aches and pains involved with anything new that they have no idea about and dont understand. There are an abundance of places you can advertise for free and you dont need a website to be found.

What many companies overlook is the abundance of places they can advertise for free with no need for the own website. Plus they have 24/7 advertising at no cost if done right.

Many companies will advertise in local papers, which are good if the person looking for your services is able to get a copy, but what if that person has a holiday home and hopes to find a service provider prior to heading to their holiday home.

They might also rely on word of mouth, ask a neighbour or know someone who knows someone who knows someone etc

The humble internet forum is a highly overlooked method of free advertising that can bring in customers that might not ever have known you exist, let alone what you offer or where you are.

OK here is the reasoning behind this.
Internet forums cover a lot of subjects
The average person viewing a forum will search one subject and end up reading several pages
So you will have a person look at a post on say buying a car in Spain then get side tracked reading about property problems.
Internet forums will normally have a flow of traffic, so your not starting from scratch trying to build a web sites traffic

Dont think oh great lets go and start placing adverts on all the internet forums because its been recommended here. You can get flagged up for spam and get your ip and email banned.

There is a trick to it and there are also ways of finding your target audience.

First off the trick. Rather than doing a post about your business, use signatures to promote your company. One person who does this successfully on here is Jon who runs a satellite TV instillation business here on the Costa Blanca

One example of Jon promoting his company
http://www.thespainforum.com/f286/ne...gandia-182016/

He uses a signature link, at the same time if you dont have a website that could be a simple business name and description with a telephone number for example. If your promoting a bar you could have your bar location, estate agents can have their contact details or language lessons, your contact details.

Not all internet forums allow the use of signature links, but a lot do these days. You might find you join a forum and the first couple of posts might be moderated or you need to be approved by the forum administrator.

So how will, this help promote your business.

Each time you reply to a post or start a new thread, your details will be posted in your signature. Each time its another free online promotion your gaining.
In some cases this can be to your advantage if your an estate agent and someone needs help with a property issue, they will tell their friends of the nice friendly estate agent (if they exist :D)

Or join in conversations about local matters. In this case someone might be doing a search on a subject to do with a local town or village and they get to see your details in your signature when you give advice or join in a conversation on a subject.

Again posting details of local and upcoming events can be just as good at bringing in the required results. After all a lot of local companies know whats going on in an area and normally have good local knowledge.

To find your target audience is as simple as a google search which will throw up an abundance of results on any given area of Spain

For example if your your a removals company and your targeting the whole of Spain, try searching Spain forums
Spain forums - Google Search

Your target audience is the Costa Blanca Spain
costa blanca forums - Google Search

The list of forums you can advertise on is endless and they are all free.

Some forums offer blogs and free classifieds which can also be used to your advantage as a free online business promotional tool.

Again the forum will already have internet traffic and you will stand more chance of your details being seen.

The trick is to think outside the box. Dont think oh well by having our website people will find us if we rank number one for x term on the internet. If people are searching for other subjects, they still have a chance to see your company or business details

If your in any doubt about what you can or cant do on any given internet forum, contact the forum owner or administrator. They dont bite and will normally give you tips and insight into getting the most out of using the forum.

Word of mouth then comes into its own. Someone might ask a friend do you know of x company that does such and such, or do you know of a person that teaches Spanish in such and such area, best bar for a it of grub in x town.

Internet forums are a great free place for promoting your company or business :Banane35:

At the same time the above is open for abuse. You might get a customer to post a great story promoting your company about how you came to their rescue. Or someone ask the best place to get a full fried English breakfast in x village or town. And a simple reply of greasy jo´s is good value at such and such.

The best part about promoting your company or business in the above methods is it the forums will love you. Each time your posting and promoting your company or business your also helping the forums grow ;)

Added 17/06

Something I forgot to mention is that most forums, even though they might look different, all basically work the same when it comes to making posts, relying to posts etc.

On here we have several walkthroughs / step by step guides to eliminating some of the mysteries on how to use an inter forum

http://www.thespainforum.com/f342/ ]]> Lee http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/promoting-business-online-simple-trick-310/ http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/irish-medical-dictionary-306/ Tue, 09 Jun 2009 10:58:31 GMT At risk of offending the Irish members on here IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY:- Artery: The study of paintings Bacteria: Back door to... At risk of offending the Irish members on here

IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY:-

Artery:
The study of paintings

Bacteria:
Back door to cafeteria

Barium:
What doctors do when patients die

Benign:
What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section:
A neighbourhood in Rome

Catscan:
Searching for Kitty

Cauterize:
Made eye contact with her

Colic:
A sheep dog

Coma:
A punctuation mark

Dilate:
To live long

Enema:
Not a friend

Fester:
Quicker than someone else

Fibula:
A small lie

Impotent:
Distinguished, well known

Labour Pain:
Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff:
A Doctor's cane

Morbid:
A higher offer

Nitrates:
Cheaper than day rates

Node:
I knew it

Outpatient:
A person who has fainted

Pelvis:
Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative:
A letter carrier

Recovery Room:
Place to do upholstery

Rectum:
Nearly killed him

Secretion:
Hiding something

Seizure:
Roman emperor

Tablet:
A small table

Terminal Illness:
Getting sick at the airport

Tumour:
One plus one more

Urine:
Opposite of you're out

2xCondoms:
To be sure, to be sure

:Banane35: ]]> Lee http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/irish-medical-dictionary-306/ http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/men-happier-women-scientific-proven-fact-305/ Sat, 30 May 2009 11:24:48 GMT MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE *NICKNAMES* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike,... MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other
Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even
though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and
none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay £20 for a £10 item he needs.
A woman will pay £10 for a £20 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the rubbish,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night..

OFFSPRING

A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret
fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing! ]]> Lee http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/men-happier-women-scientific-proven-fact-305/ http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/beer-mayonnaise-thought-life-304/ Thu, 28 May 2009 09:59:41 GMT When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...and the beer. A... When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...and the beer.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else--the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. "Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.

The professor smiled. "I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of beers." ]]> Lee http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/beer-mayonnaise-thought-life-304/ http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/dear-holiday-guest-hell-303/ Tue, 26 May 2009 17:05:59 GMT Just recovering from my nightmare from hell week. If you visit a friend, dont try and upset the local bars. When you live in a small village with... Just recovering from my nightmare from hell week.

If you visit a friend, dont try and upset the local bars. When you live in a small village with only four English bars, being known as a pair of Richard heads ( think about the short term for Richard ), because one lives in a fantasy world is not good.

If a barmaid has asked you to settle your bill, drink up and then starts turning the lights out, puts her bag over her shoulder, it means she wants you go and not sit there talking more crap about how good the UK is or more crap about your non existent companies or non existent portfolio of houses in the UK. Bar staff in Spain work long hours on low wages and should be treated with the respect they deserve.

Dont make up stories about knowing every hard man in the UK, including the Krays because you once lived in South East London and you was hard. People see through that kind of crap very easily and remember most here are not the dumb type and made the intelligent decision to leave the shit hole called the UK.

Dont knock the expats because you read in the UK press that everyone here wants to return and the same people at the bars will tell you a totally different story and then go on to quote what the UK press says. The UK censors a lot of stories and by publishing stories about hard times, tales of woe and any other dire junk they can, they stop the flow of money and the a lot of the type of people they need to keep the UK economy afloat there.

When you get told that the junk the looky looky men are selling on the beaches can be purchased at half the price else where and you pay €50 for a watch, hand bag or sunglasses, then get taken to market and see the same gear for for €5 or €10, dont take offence after you have purchased 6 pairs of sunglasses, 3 handbags and 2 watches.

Girls under parasols at the side of the road are not selling oranges, crabs maybe.

Yelling my name several times, is no indication that Im approaching a speed ramp at high speed and might not have seen it because its paint as worn off. My cars designed for off road, the contents of your suitcase could have been damaged at the airport. Silly place to put your ipod and sunglasses in my opinion.

If a guy starts chatting to you in a bar at the beach and looks and sounds gay, chances are he is. And you find your mate your staying with has totally disowned you.

Dont bang on about how expensive Spain is when you drinking an ice cold pint that just cost €2 in an expensive bar

There are more than one Aldi and Liddle in Spain. We are not lost if you have seen several of them. Not that I ever admit to that any way, just the roads tend to look the same from time to time.

Try to blend in rather than looking like a 70´s medallion man reject with gold chains that set off airport metal detectors (does real gold do that ) and spend a week wondering why everyone keeps giving you funny looks and every looky looky man homes in on you.

And dont let your girlfriend pack your suitcase to the max 20kg weight limit with jumpers, winter clothes and then have to wear a lot back when you return to the airport after a week in a country where its been in the high 20´s all week.

Be decisive with where you want to go, hearing "its up to you" is the single most annoying term you can hear when someone is visiting for a week. When you live in a country, many things you see on a daily basis, what you want to see and do can be totally different from what our idea of a relaxing break would be.

Lastly and finally, if the person dropping you off at the airport dumps you and your bag, then screeches off at high speed with their phone switched off and the music blaring so they cant hear your screams of "stop" in case your flight is delayed or you have left something in the car, your on your own

So much for a fun weeks holiday. :Banane35: ]]> Lee http://www.thespainforum.com/blogs/lee/dear-holiday-guest-hell-303/